Parallel Lives - of resilience and building a future together

Life for us always revolves around the small things. It’s the coffee breaks that bring us together. Dinners, on the other hand, are for reconnecting, a moment to reflect, to laugh, to share what went well (or not so well) during the day.

At the same time, it matters that we each do what’s good for us individually. She is an athlete and thrives on her training routine. When she returns from a run, she is grounded, content, and at peace with herself. I’m still looking for that same sense of balance. A few days ago she suggested to create a training plan for me, convinced I could run a half-marathon next year. So I’ve started running occasionally, not just for fitness, but because I want to be present and healthy for a long, shared life. This might turn into a routine I could get behind. And who knows what life has planed for us.

My own work has seasons. The summer is a quieter time: pitches slow down, events are fewer, and the world seems to pause. For me, this is a chance to breathe. For her, nothing slows the pace. Her focus is relentless, even if occasionally interrupted by the host of our agriturismo blasting Adriano Celentano through paper-thin walls while cleaning the next room. Two different rhythms and yet they somehow fit together.

Our professional lives couldn’t be more different. Her path will likely lead into hospitals and clinics, where her days are dictated by patients, colleagues, and emergencies. It’s a constant demand for attention, where lives depend on every decision. My work, in comparison, feels more fluid. Of course there are clients, deadlines, and responsibilities, but I can carve out my day, pause when needed, and set my own pace.

It would be easy to say one of us works harder than the other, but with that lens we would be setup for failure. Work comes in many forms. Physical stress and mental load each take their toll, even if they don’t look the same from the outside. Ambition may not be the word I’d use for us, but resilience fits. She pushes herself not to fall short of her own standards. I push myself to stay on track toward building the life we want. Different motivations, same drive. What we’ve learned is that resilience isn’t about comparing, it’s about respecting the very different pressures each of us carries, and supporting each other in the process.

Looking ahead, our vision is simple. We don’t see ourselves stuck in the grey winters of Bavaria forever. We’d love to spend part of the year abroad, somewhere warmer, quieter, more inspiring. Italy is high on the list. For her, it could mean quieter months of focus. For me, it would mean the flexibility to continue working with clients while knowing I can jump on a plane when needed. Both of us want autonomy, but even more, we want a life built together, not in parallel lines that never meet, but in intertwined paths that keep bringing us back to one another.

And maybe that’s the real lesson of this time in Italy.

I never want to reach a point in life where we look back and say: “we should have done the thing, but didn’t”. Opportunities, whether small or life-changing, are worth taking. Because the life we’re building together shouldn’t be a list of missed chances, it should be a collection of moments we chose to embrace.